what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I smell stomach acid.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
