Small penises have feelings too.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
