1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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