I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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