I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
