He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
