bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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