Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
