i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
