Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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