How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize