I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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