Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dick very happy bro
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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