what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
