you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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