I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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