You can't motorboat a personality
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize