are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
