I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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