do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm way too hungover for life right now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
