You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
