the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
