That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
