in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
