I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if only i could text you this smell
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
