fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
