The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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