??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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