Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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