come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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