But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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