part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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