This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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