Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
