Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
