i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
