I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
