Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
