In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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