so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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