Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
