I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
