he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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