We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
