He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
