I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
