Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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