It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
