Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
