I cockslap morals
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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