fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
