Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
