Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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