How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
