He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
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