i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
