I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
