Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Randomize
