do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
