then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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