Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
